future.

matt vs. chase

i only ask myself the important questions

this helps

slow flames licking at the straw

tired, silent. i'd rather not speak again.

i'll carry that brown bound book around

scribbling incessant illegible language

of my own creation.

actions may speak louder but mine are a constant contradiction;

involuntary at best.

on repeat: may edition

oOoOO- NoSummr4U [mp3]

oOoOO- Mumbai [mp3]

Grimes- Feyd Rautha Dark Heart [mp3]

Grimes- Gambang [mp3]

jj- CEO Birthday [mp3]

High Places- On Giving Up [mp3]

the theme, accidentally, is weirdo girl electro-lite.

i just googled "the electrolites". it's not a band... yet.

however, boston's best all girl soul cover band, "the electrolytes", might have that corner of the market covered. too bad; i was just getting excited about the disco thrashpunk outfit i had in mind for our first show.

i like toitles

via weird friends

via cosmic dust

boots

These Boots Are Made for Walking from LaisPrieto on Vimeo.

5/10/10

is it spring or fall? the crisp air and excitement of new endeavors feel so like the first day of school.

my first day of school was in 2002; i was fifteen. i went to t.j.maxx with my mother, bought the requisite outfits for full social success: jeans with too much spandex and whisker washing, double zip cable sweaters, and cap sleeved baby tees. despite the wardrobe overhaul (complete with new payless clogs), the friend requests did not come pouring in. i blame it on the sleeveless turtleneck, an abominably frumpy and unnecessary creation, which made its way into my weekly outfit routine in various colors and weights. its origin in my closet is unclear, but i rode that look to death for my first year of school. the turtleneck in general was a staple of my look; my sophomore school picture is of me in a thick green turtleneck sweater, my favorite, because it "brought out my eyes". unfortunately, it also brought out my ears which feature prominently on either side of my gangly spectacled face. hair up was a bad choice.

that first day, experienced by my peers ten years earlier, was not as strange as you might think. i had been taking classes at lebanon high school for the previous year, and at the junior high the year before that. i'd ride my bike in mid-day, after doing some biology lab involving creek water sampling, and sing in both the regular chorus and the audition-only chorus, "superlatives". my friends were either in the music program or were people i had met through teen community theater; sometimes, i'd sit in on a math class with them to kill some time and would revel in the novelty ideas of homework and pop quizzes. i became somewhat known as "that homeschooled girl", which didn't make me cool but did put me on the radar so i didn't vanish into obscurity. if i'd gone to public school from the start, like everyone else, by high school i would have been written off as a nerd, weirdo, music geek, or worse, overlooked completely.

so, because of my previous part-time status, my first day basically felt like any other. i had to wake up a little early, and my father took a picture of me in the kitchen before i left, but i walked familiar halls once i arrived. i set up a mirror and magnetic pen holder in my locker, which i shared with a stranger because of my delayed enrollment, took out my brand new five-star notebook, and finally entered the world of 50 minute class periods and required study halls.

it may not have been the best decision for my educational development; i was put in a mid-difficulty string of classes for the first year and spent a lot of time doing busywork, learning the bare minimum. my problem in the transition was that for the past year i had been teaching myself directly from textbooks; my mother, also teaching four other children, would give me weekly assignments, only checking to make sure they were completed. this system,"this week, read chapters 14-28, do five chapters of math problems, and complete five science labs/tests", meant that procrastination was completely viable as long as everything was done by friday. believe me, i took advantage of that. i had a college student's schedule: sleep in, do nothing all day, then cram in the work till two at night. i have no idea why this was allowed to continue for so long. as a result, at the end of my ninth grade year and the following summer, when i decided to go to public school, i still had half of my math book left to complete and about twenty labs and reports to do. i tried to cram it in but didn't finish and as a punishment my mother gave me a failing grade in biology. i mean, i deserved it, but i still think she should have let it slide. that "f" coupled with a poor grade in algebra convinced my guidance counselor that i was second-rate and started me on level 2 classes. if only i could have written an admissions essay instead; my reading comprehension, writing, grammar, and spelling were far beyond my grade level.

regardless of flaws in the public educational system and in my self-control, the decision to stop homeschooling has resulted in a then-unexpected path of art school and philadelphia living that probably would never have come about otherwise. it's a bit much, now, to project such importance on that day, but i like that my fifteen year old self was so clueless about what she was getting into, so wrapped up in the moment like all other teenagers.

this is making me want to read my old diaries; maybe that will be my next post.

i like this blog

dirty blonde

from emma cooper

stratospheric soul

coincidence or not, my behavior corresponds with the weather. take these past weeks for example, such a dramatic fluctuation of emotion and change simultaneously occurring with the strangest turn of seasons. it's exhausting in so many ways.
also, i've now worked for 16 days straight- only 6 more to go.

more daisy lowe

solitary sneaker

i wish i knew

found in old notebook.

instructions for success

1. a deep breath, chest rising slowly, to shake the paralysis

2. one slow head roll, eyes closing at the circle's peak

3. clench and let loose, secretly, your shaking fingers.

4. shoulders relaxed, back poker straight

5. step confidently and assuredly that invisible line

6. slow inhale, and speak.

Happy Earth Day-

Simple changes to consume less:

Make meals from scratch using foods grown at locally farms. I highly advocate veganism as a way of minimizing environmental impact and reducing demand for a harmful animal agriculture system. As times change and we realize the importance of recycling and conserving energy in the same way we must change our eating habits to adapt. This may be a huge transition for many; fresh fruits and vegetables don’t taste good when you’re used to eating the many combinations of fat, sugar, and salt that the American food industry has created. I had to train myself to like certain vegetables so that my diet wasn’t too constrained; now I can safely say I like them all. It may take time, but gradually adding more fresh foods into your diet has astronomical benefits, both physically and mentally. Consider where your food is coming from and read labels; if you can’t recognize ingredients, stay away. When you can’t buy locally, buy in bulk to reduce packaging.

Stop buying disposables. Paper napkins, plates, and towels are a result of growing laziness. When t-shirts rip, stain, or wear out, use them as cleaning rags; washing rags or cloth napkins is hardly a trying task. Buy one good razor instead of going through cheap plastic ones every few weeks. Bring your own mug to the coffee shop. Buy a few reusable compact shopping bags to keep with you at all times. These are obvious suggestions but they can’t be said enough. We use disposable items for convenience, but with just a little planning both resources and money can be saved.

Make your own cleaning products. Vinegar is a great disinfectant and cleaner, whether diluted with water or used full strength. It can also be used as fabric softener. Baking soda, made into a paste with a little water, substitutes just fine for toxic bleach scrubs and can be used for toothpaste as welll. Apparently, olive oil and lemon juice can be used to polish furniture. These recipes are easily found online. There’s no reason to introduce more toxicity into the environment.

Shop secondhand. I swear by thrift shops for everything. This has become a habit for many reasons; I find unique clothing, at a low price, without participating in fashion’s consumerist trending behavior. In the same way that I was raised eating very little red meat, transitioned to vegetarianism, then to veganism as I became more passionate about the subject, this has come easily. I was raised in an efficient household; very little waste or excess. This included shopping and when hand-me-downs were not available, the thrift store was standard. I bought new frequently in high school but still shopped secondhand, and over the last six years have eventually lost (almost) all desire to shop new. I realize this isn’t as easy for everyone, either, but with the many negativities of global production and our throwaway culture, any effort to reuse and reinvent items is extremely valuable.

The above isn’t meant to be a sermon or speech, just an entreaty for a more conscious, compassionate lifestyle.

Think about it.

charlotte always

this set is SO GOOD
via pitchfork

filtered light

COSMIC DUST

.an

via