january

the curtains are white but heavy enough that the sun didn't feel quite so oppressive still i like that now the lamp is brighter than whatever's outside. there are a few things i've thought of doing, physical movements, like taking off my tights to make my toes stop hurting but instead just elevated my feet. i was going to walk upstairs to get a book i like reading sometimes but there are excerpts and other essays online written by the same person so i opened a bunch of tabs and scrolled through kinda quickly only stopping to read for real when a phrase caught my eye. the internet makes me a bad reader. inundation of material. i made a few lists: "things that are weird", "things i've learned", and "places on my body that feel wrong", the first two being (surprisingly, unsurprisingly) short and the last of which turned into a meditative state in an attempt to usher out tension. unsuccessful.