8.11.11

i had that dream about the infant, curled on my chest, a sibling not a child of mine. the weight stayed as i struggled to wake and turned into a burden i couldn't shake. i thought there was a cat on me, around me, could feel the pawsteps on the couch behind my head but as i attempted to rid myself of the dream heaviness the movement around me turned sinister and i could feel it trying to enter my body. it wanted to come in at the back of my neck and take me over. the sensation lasted for about 30 seconds while i was unsure of reality or dreamstate. i thought of death and fragility, because i had no control over the negative spirit, but then it broke and i was sweating on my couch with this american life still telling the story of prisoners enacting the last scene of hamlet, which i loved, and i felt invincible again. i'm always "unstoppable" in my waking state, when my mind can be controlled, when i can be distracted so easily from my feelings.